Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Wednesday reruns

Mrs. Powder: "Sorry I'm a few minutes late, I had to drop my husband off at the ER."

Dr. Grumpy: "Is he okay?"

Mrs. Powder: "Oh he's fine. He was cleaning his gun and shot himself, again."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh my..."

Mrs. Powder: "You'd think he'd get over being such a baby about it. I made him wait in the car until I'd finished the laundry. Anyway, at the last visit you had me try Nomig for headaches, and I like it. Do you have any more samples?"

21 comments:

Officer Cynical said...

"Oh, and do you have a refrigerator I can put my husband's head in while I'm here? I read on the internet that you're supposed to keep them cold until they're reattached."

Anonymous said...

"He accidentally shot himself in the back of the head. Twice."

Packer said...

What a story Mr. Powder is telling the ER Staff and the Officer summoned to ER by such staff. Take a Powder Mrs. Powder for you are the main character in the story.

kjax said...

He shot himself "again." She's obviously tired of his s**t and has laundry to finish. I get it.

Ms. Donna said...

WTF is in that Nomig? It appears to have long-term anti-anxiety effects. VBG. Or as Packer said, the cops will be after her and she's building an insanity defense.

Ivan Ilyich said...

I wonder if Mrs. Powder makes sure the gun is loaded when she knows her husband is planning to clean it.

Loren Pechtel said...

Setting up a suicide as an accident, perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Men will do anything to get out of cleaning, won't they?

Tarquin "R.J." Toffeebridge V said...

"With gunshot wounds, it's really important to get all that blood out of your clothes right away, or it's going to stain."

Anonymous said...

"With all those constant loud noises at home, is it any wonder I get headaches?"

A. Marie said...

Sometimes I wish that your most appalling stories didn't leave me laughing till stuff comes out my nose. This probably says more about me than about the stories.

Anonymous said...

"On the bright side, at least it took more than the usual thirty seconds of cleaning before his gun went off."

evodevo said...

I agree with Marie ... you should be ashamed of the way you make my eyes tear up and my nose run ...

evodevo said...

On the other hand, I live in Ky - this would not be unusual ...

Anonymous said...

"He was supposed to wait until the doctor who always prescribes Percocet starts his shift at the ER, but as usual he got impatient. At least he didn't accidentally hit a major artery like last time."

Anonymous said...

"You'd think by now he'd stop trusting the 'How to clean your gun' article on eHow."

Anonymous said...

"Of course, when I made him wait in the car, I totally forgot that we keep guns hidden behind the door panels."

Mage said...

LOL

tbunni said...

So is it wrong that my first thought was for the car's upholstery/carpeting? As in, she'd rather have him bleeding out there than, oh, say, in the kitchen, which is where I always make my husband wait in similar circumstances...

Not that he's ever shot himself. No guns allowed in our home, and for that exact reason. But it is AMAZING what he can do with a knife. *Any* kind of knife.

vegakitty said...

It was the "again" that got me.

Anonymous said...

He must have had dirt on hillary

 
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